Sunday 27 September 2015

Why do we not give time and respect to our elderly?



Last week I witnessed my elderly mum receive totally inappropriate customer service from a leading bank.  This got me thinking about our attitude to elderly people.  After all an elderly person is someone’s much loved parent or grandparent and we may all get to that age one day if the life cards we were dealt are kind.    

Succinctly, mum was closing one bank account and opening a new account with a different provider. The bank assistant (certainly under 30 years of age), who clearly knew the banks IT system inside out, proceeded to whizz through the screens without stopping to check mum could read the screen display let alone take in the contents of the page.  She talked very quickly, too quickly for mum to understand and mum struggled to grasp all of the information she was being asked to process and take in.  When I requested the bank assistant repeat what she had said and talk more slowly her speech slowed very marginally and began to shout.  My mother is not deaf just a little slower on the uptake these days!  On being asked to repeat information the bank assistant became impatient and was clearly agitated by being asked to repeat her script.  A lot of paperwork, in small print, was generated.  Mum struggles to read the font size and to digest all of the information on the page in the time she was given.  Needless to say all of the paperwork was passed to me to check.  What if I had not accompanied mum?  During the whole appointment, which lasted around 30 minutes, the bank assistant never once asked mum if she had any questions of if she would like to have anything repeated.  When I asked questions of clarification on mums behalf I was made to feel I was being a nuisance, intentional or not!

In dealing with my mum the bank assistant lacked empathy, understanding and consideration, showing a total inability to communicate effectively with mum in an appropriate manner and she remained oblivious to the fact that the interaction was for the most part a one way conversation with little or no input from my mum.  Should this fact not have given the bank assistant a clue that her communication style was not suitable nor indeed appropriate?  The experience was not a good one with the appointment very rushed.  The bank assistant rushed through the process seemingly in a great hurry to have it concluded.  A run of the mill appointment to her was not so to my mum, for whom changing banks after 30+ years was a big deal. Mum was left feeling foolish, inadequate and not a little upset by the experience. 

Why do the young treat the elderly with such a lack of respect?

The World Health Organisation estimates that globally, for the first time in history, the number of people aged 65 and over will, by 2050, outnumber children aged five and under.  According to Age UK, there are nearly 14.7 million over-60s, almost 23% of the population, in the UK.

Senior citizens now make up such a large part of the population and increasingly so, surely organisations customer service training programmes needs to instruct staff how to better deal with the elderly.  The key in this is empathetic treatment allowing more time and checking understanding.  Staff need to be insightful, taking the time to understand the needs and requirements of their elderly customers being more sensitive to their needs. Our elderly deserve to be better treated, staff dealing with the elderly should be encouraged to go the extra mile and to ensure a mutually good experience is the outcome of the meeting / transaction.   

Given our spend consumer society and the much mentioned 'grey purchasing power,’' I am surprised many organisations still appear to give so little thought to not only satisfying but exceeding the expectations of their elderly customers, or potential elderly customers.  Elderly customers have unique needs.  Age UK reports over-65s in the UK spend £2.2billion a week on goods and services.  My mums experience tells me they are not getting proper service.

I am reminded of a very moving and powerful poem about old age which it strikes me could be a useful aide memoir to all staff in organisations who deal with the elderly in our community and not just elderly care.

See Me

What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
Are you thinking, when you look at me –
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with far-away eyes,
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply,
When you say in a loud voice — “I do wish you’d try.”
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe,
Who unresisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill.
Is that what you’re thinking, is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse, you’re looking at ME…
I’ll tell you who I am, as I sit here so still;
As I rise at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of ten with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another,
A young girl of sixteen with wings on her feet.
Dreaming that soon now a lover she’ll meet;
A bride soon at twenty — my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep;
At twenty-five now I have young of my own,
Who need me to build a secure, happy home;
A woman of thirty, my young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last;
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man’s beside me to see I don’t mourn;
At fifty once more babies play ’round my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead,
I look at the future, I shudder with dread,
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I’ve known;
I’m an old woman now and nature is cruel –
‘Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body is crumbled, grace and vigor depart,
There is now a stone where once I had a heart,
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I’m loving and living life over again,
I think of the years, all too few — gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last –
So I open your eyes, nurses, open and see,
Not a crabby old woman, look closer, nurses — see ME!
This poem was found among the possessions of an elderly lady who died in the geriatric ward of a hospital. No information is available concerning her — who she was or when she died. Reprinted from the “Assessment and Alternatives Help Guide” prepared by the Colorado Foundation for Medical Care.

Friday 7 August 2015

A startling dementia statistic. Read on.



...Awe inspiring scenery, memorable experiences and personal challenges.  

Scaling the Dragon's Back was written to raise awareness and continue fundraising for Dementia UK, Admiral Nurses.
  
Dementia UK say there are more carers of those living with some form of dementia than caring for those living with cancer or heart problems combined.  


This startling statistic is why Dementia UK need your help and support more Admiral Nurses are needed.  Whilst the number of Admiral Nurses continues to grow, there are now 144 working in the UK, many more are needed.

There are currently 800,000 people today living with dementia in the UK, many of whom are cared for by loved ones, friends and other important people in their lives.  In the UK alone it is estimated 1,000,000 people will be diagnosed with dementia in the UK by 2025, which means many more will be thrust into the role of becoming a family carer.

The north of England, Manchester, has only just got its first Admiral Nurse who is working in acute care, one of only four Admiral Nurses working in acute care.  You can read more about this important development in dementia care services by clicking on the following ITV news link:  http://www.itv.com/news/2015-08-04/daughter-campaigns-for-change-after-her-mother-who-has-dementia-was-left-for-hours-on-a-hospital-trolley-in-a-e/

What do Dementia UK, Admiral Nurses Do?

Admiral Nurses can support families from the point of diagnosis to post bereavement. They are able to work with families who have complex needs and provide specialist support and advice, giving families the knowledge to understand the condition and its effects, and the skills to improve communication and behaviours. They also provide specialist emotional and psychological support through periods of difficulty in the dementia journey when carers are under the most stress and in danger of suffering a breakdown e.g. at diagnosis; through physical and behavioural changes; moving a loved one into residential care; during end of life care and bereavement.

Living with the effects of dementia can have a significant negative impact on the families’ mental health and well-being. Admiral Nurses work with both the person living with dementia and the family carer, supporting family carers in the following ways by;
  • Focusing on the needs of the family carer developing coping strategies.  
  • Helping families better understand dementia developing skills to improve communication and cope with feelings of loss and bereavement as the condition deteriorates.
The help and support of an Admiral Nurse is only a phone call away...
Dementia UK runs a national helpline, Admiral Nursing Direct, that can be contacted on 0845 257 9406 or direct@dementiauk.org.

Research has found 4 out of 10 carers of those living with dementia suffer depression.  The University College London (UCL) has published survey results based on a number of studies around the world, which found 40% of people looking after loved ones with dementia are clinically depressed or suffering from anxiety.  Professor Gill Livingston said "caring for a relative with Dementia can be particularly taxing because of the length of the illness and its nature." 

A common comment from those caring for dementia sufferers, most often but not exclusively, the partner of the dementia suffer, is that "no one visits anymore." Many friends and relatives say they prefer to remember the sufferer as they were before the onset of the illness.  And no doubt it is emotionally challenging and painful to see someone they know, who probably now no longer recognises them 'alive on the outside but seemingly dead on the inside.'  Many find it uncomfortable to sit in silence when a dementia suffer hardly speaks or when they are confused constantly repeating themselves, often their conversation making no sense.  Friends of the carer find that conversation with their friend becomes impossible given the often disruptive behaviour of the sufferer, which is disturbing, and demands so much attention from the carer.  Admiral Nurses are able to provide much needed advice and support to carers who often feel isolated and abandoned.


The following Dementia UK article explains why more Admiral Nurses are needed in acute care:  http://www.dementiauk.org/news/view/id/41/tameside-hospital-appoints-norths-first-acute-admiral-nurse

Can you help to develop the growth of the Admiral Nursing service make a direct  donation to Dementia UK.



Monday 6 July 2015

Cuba's Vintage Cars, the agonies and the ecstasies.




In September 2012 I walked part of the Great Wall of China in support of Dementia UK, Admiral Nurses.

 
I recall my experiences, in words with photos, in the ebook 'Scaling the Dragon's Back' which is available from Amazon for Kindle at the new price of $2.99 or £1.99, that's less that the cost of a cup of coffee.  

                                                           
Or, help to develop the growth of the Admiral Nursing service, make a direct  donation to Dementia UK.




 

A visit to Cuba probably wouldn’t be quite the same without its vintage cars.  the sort of veteran cars that send some men into inexplicable ecstasies.” Dervla Murphy, The Island That Dared, Journey’s on Cuba, 2008.

Legislation which was in place until 2011 decreed that only cars built before the 1959 revolution could be sold.  The result of this is the big 1950’s US classic cars which are seen throughout the island but especially on the streets of Havana, many brightly coloured Chevrolets, Fords, Chryslers and Buicks can be seen; with many resprayed cars used as taxi’s.  They are expensive to hire and aimed squarely at the tourists. 

Not the taxi but a rather battered car.
It is amazing given how old the cars are that so many are still running although many are falling to pieces. A guy from my tour jumped unknowingly into an unlicensed taxi to find it had no suspension, indicators or door handles, he had to hang onto the passenger door during the ride so as to keep it closed.  A little frightening to say the least.  He was pleased and not a little relieved when he arrived his destination unscathed.  




 I am full of admiration for the owners of the vehicles who must spend many hours working on the cars to keep them running, even if they are battered and not in good condition.  Many have had engine replacements and run on Japanese diesel and I was told Skoda engines. 




In 2014 Cuba relaxed its trade restrictions and allowed the importation of some new cars allowing new cars to be sold on the island for the first time in over 50 years.  However, the high purchase prices have kept the number of new vehicle to a minimum as they are priced out of the reach of most Cubans. In Cuba wages are low so most of the population cannot afford to buy cars and not many own one.  According to The Guardian newspaper (2014) “there are only 60,000 cars to the islands 11 million population.”  Low car ownership adds to another one of Cuba’s charms, empty roads and an absence of motor vehicle traffic jams.


A British Morris 1000 gets in on the act.
I wonder now that the US trade embargo is being relaxed and diplomatic relations between the US and Cuba have been restored will these remembrances of times past gradually be scrapped or sold to classic car collectors?